A Christmas Story - When You're a Wimp Lyrics

The Broadway Musical
A Christmas Story - When You're a Wimp Lyrics

In every jungle
There are lions that conclude
When there's a hunter,
Then there's gotta be food
Out here in the wild, we're the bunch
That's gotta stick together
'Cause if not:

KIDS (one at a time, and in groups):
We're gonna be lunch

His eyes are yellow
There's no way they'd be missed

That evil laughter
And the pound of his fist

A species unlike any that we've seen
Who gives a whole new meaning to a bully being mean
He's never had a victim where the "uncle" routine's
Been spared

That's why we're scared

But you're a wimp,
You get wise to the
Ways of the wood

You're a shrimp
Half their size
And the game's understood

'Cause there're hawks that circle around every day
So they can swoop and scoop you up as their prey

And you limp, like a gimp
Once again
When you're a wimp
When you're a wimp

I'm bad at baseball
I got cut from the team
That ball flew at me
My first thought was to scream

Just an unathletic scaredy-cat at best
The most pathetic chicken in the world

Or, at least the mid-west

When you're a wimp
And you're weak
And the worst one at sports

When you're simply a geek
And your last name is Schwartz

You just try to survive till you're ten
When you're a wimp

Hey diddle, diddle
It stinks to be little

You're picked on!
And you're the last one picked

Hey diddle, diddle
No fun in the middle of
And gettin' kicked

But, oh
The day we grow
Better watch your back
When the wimps attack

We'll eat all of our vegetables until that day arrives
We shoot to six-foot-seven and they break out in hives
We'll make those stupid bullies have to run for their lives

When you're a wimp
Then you wait for a while till you win
Will be the hawks that circle 'round every day
Until we swoop and scoop them up as they pray

For the day before mice became men
Send those piglets right back to their pen
Oh, you'll never cry "uncle!" again (Not again)
When you're a wimp
When you're a wimp
When you're a wimp!

[Thanks to Michael for lyrics]

Read more: A Christmas Story the Musical Lyrics
A Christmas Story When You're a Wimp Lyrics

A Christmas Story the Musical Lyrics

Counting Down to Christmas
At Higbee's
Red Ryder
Counting Down to Christmas (Reprise)
The Genius on Cleveland Street
When You're a Wimp
Ralphie to the Rescue
What A Mother Does
Sticky Situation
A Major Award
A Kid At Christmas
Just Like That
Up On Santa's Lap
Before the Old Man Comes Home
Somewhere Hovering Over Indiana