Off-Broadway Musical Closer Than Ever - And the Mole Lyrics
WOMAN 1: Stop! All right! That's it! That's the one that does it I've had it with that song and dance A man must this and a woman must that Till relationships don't stand a chance I'm sorry to shout But I'm up to here With all that crap about man and wife For I -thank god- am a scientist And I know the real facts of life
Like a soul possessed I have studies and assessed The creatures of this earth And from moose to eel What my studies most reveal Is the male's inflated worth For in most of the animal kingdom The ladies only seldom need men Their dealings are straight They meet them to mate And never see them again
The bear, the tiger, the hamster and the mole Have females who live fruitful lives outside of male control For one mindless spasm they allow the male his role That's marriage for the tiger, bear and hamster
Now the mole, who's blind Will never be confined To one male she's merely felt Once his seed is sown She has her babes along In the hole where the male mole dwelt And as for the boa constrictor She needs no more than one male response For when it appears She stores it for years To use whenever she wants
The ray, the rhino, the penguin, and the tern Those females know that motherhood is not a male concern Of course they're not human, But they show what we can learn They point the way, the rhino, ray and penguin... In a field or brook Almost anywhere you look Are mothers on their own In the deep, on high Mothers kiss their mates goodbye And they raise their young alone Now I make no brief for the mantis Who decapitates her mate during sex But I do like the auk Who mates with a squawk And then throws rocks at her ex
The bitch, the vixen, the queen bee, and the shrew What men have done to those fine words, We never can undo They're strong working mothers - Yes they're just like me and you Let's redefine the shrew, the bitch, and vixen...
And be...like the seagull Roam free...as the lynx And cruise...like the caribous...if we choose
And not have to wait for those sly little winks From some man who envies the sex life of minks And not have to guess if he's one of the finks Or whether he drinks Or whether he stinks Or what he thinks... Of me...
Now of course if fate Should put upon my plate That quintessential male I would stick like glue Yes I would be as true As any beaver, owl, or whale But till then I'll envy the oyster Who lives a happy life on the shelf When she wants a term She releases some sperm And fertilizes herself!
The hare, the condor, the guppy, and the bream They're all out there doing what humans only dream Come march toward the future on my scientific team For now that you've seen and can compare Why, anyone with the will to dare Can follow the tiger, and the bear, And hamster... And mole... And me!
Read more: Closer Than Ever Musical Lyrics
Closer Than Ever the Musical Lyrics
Doors She Loves Me Not You Wanna Be My Friend What Am I Doing? The Bear, The Tiger, The Hamster And the Mole Miss Byrd One of the Good Guys There's Nothing Like It Life Story Next Time/I Wouldn t Go Back Three Friends Fandango There Patterns Another Wedding Song If I Sing Back On Base The March of Time Fathers of Fathers It s Never That Easy/I ve Been Here Before Closer Than Ever
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