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2024 West End
Why Am I So Single? the Musical - I Got Off the Plane Lyrics
The song is written by Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss.
ROSS* – (from ‘Friends’)
Did she get off the plane?
Did she get off the plane?
RACHEL* – (from ‘Friends’)
I got off the plane!
NANCY: (spoken)
I mean, this scene huge
OLIVER: (spoken)
God, yeah – this was like the soundtrack to my youth
NANCY: (spoken)
Watching it,
I feel like I’m 14 again in my emo phase rocking my massive side fringe,
Do you know what I mean?
OLIVER: (spoken)
Yeah dude, I totally dig what you’re saying
NANCY: (spoken)
I mean sorry but it’s no wonder our love lives are so tragic
Cause I mean this is the kind
Of heteronormative cliché we grew up.
Like our Rachel is finally moving on with her life
And then her boring ex-boyfriend
Ross comes along and bam…
OLIVER: (spoken)
Five seconds later
NANCY: (spoken)
She’s leaving him a voice note like
RACHEL* – (from ‘Friends’)
I love you. What am I doing? I've got to get off this plane
NANCY: (spoken)
And it all culminates in a big climatic moment where Ross is like
ROSS* – (from ‘Friends’)
Did she get off the plane?
Did she get off the plane?
NANCY: (spoken)
And after 10 years of ‘will they, won’t they,’
The happiest ending we could possibly fathom
Was Rachel bursting in declaring
RACHEL* – (from ‘Friends’)
I got off the plane!
[NANCY, spoken]
I mean seriously,
It makes me want to say
To the whole goddamn era
NANCY:
Nice one early noughties
Thank you, cause you taught me
Some man derailing your plans of flying to France
Is the height of all romance
OLIVER:
Great job cause when the scene’s on
I recollect how each ‘Friends’ season
There was just like there is just no way
That a love story would be even slightly gay
BOTH:
We’ve seen the scene again
And again and again and again
And it’s so dated
Yeah it’s so braindead
And it’s so
Yeah it’s so
Oh it’s so
It’s so fucking good
It makes me wanna die
It’s so fucking good
I’m gouging out my eye
And then the other eye, yeah
When she left the flight
It broke me apart
So perfect and right
It tore out my heart
And fucked up my brain
So fuck you Rachel… and Ross
Fuck you both for saying
‘I got off the plane’
NANCY: (spoken)
You know what it’s no wonder Ross
And Rachel got into our heads…
Cause really Ross and Rachel
Were kind of everywhere in culture
OLIVER: (spoken)
Go on…
NANCY: (spoken)
Well, if you think about it,
It was basically Rachel Capulet
Choosing Rossio over Paris in fair Verona
RACHEL – (from ‘Friends’ imitating Juliet from ‘Romeo and Juliet’)
Rossio, Rossio, wherefore art thou Rossio?
OLIVER: (spoken)
Oh and Rachel Winslet getting
Off a lifeboat to be with Ross DiCaprio
RACHEL* – (from ‘Friends’ imitating Kate Winslet in ‘Titanic’)
Paint me like one of your French Rachel’s
RACHEL* – (from ‘Friends’ imitating from ‘Notting Hill’)
I’m just a Rachel standing in front of a Ross,
Asking him to love her
ROSS* – (from ‘Friends’)
You come to me on the day of my Rachel’s wedding
NANCY: (spoken)
Whether it was Ross the superhero,
Ross the tennis player,
Ross the animated sports car…
It was always just that same story
Of Ross getting his Rachel reward in the end
OLIVER: (spoken)
Which I’m sure did wonders for both our psyches
NANCY: (spoken)
So…
BOTH:
Here’s to our favourite pair
For being everywhere
NANCY: (spoken)
On screen
OLIVER: (spoken)
On stage
NANCY: (spoken)
Each time
BOTH:
The same paradigm of a boy that gets the girl
NANCY:
Thank God it was omnipresent
OLIVER:
So we could absorb when prepubescent
NANCY:
‘I exist just to be won’
OLIVER:
‘And I’ll find no one’
BOTH:
Gee, thanks Ross and Rachel
BOTH:
We’ve seen the scene again
And again and again and again
And it’s so retro
Yeah it’s so hetero
And it’s so
Yeah it’s so
Oh it’s so
Problematic,
I actually can’t watch it again…
As if! No!
It’s so fucking good
It tears me to bits
It’s so fucking good
It gives me the blues
And then the shits, yeah!
She comes back to Ross
It fills me with rage
All pop culture was was Rosses and Rachels
Rotting my brain
So fuck you Rachel… and also Ross
NANCY:
Cause all of that pain
OLIVER:
Started when you’re saying
BOTH:
‘I got off the plane’
Fuck you Ross
Fuck you Rachel
We’re fucked up because of you
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Cause it’s your fucking fault
ROSS* – (from ‘Friends’)
Alright, alright, you know what,
We’ve had enough of this
RACHEL* – (from ‘Friends’)
Yeah, maybe we should just ‘take a break’…
ROSS* – (from ‘Friends’)
Okay, look, we get it - the culture you grew up
With wasn’t the most representative,
It wasn’t the most empowering,
And yes it affected you
ROSS* – (from ‘Friends’)
But like, you’re the ones choosing
To watch this ancient TV show over and over again…
RACHEL* – (from ‘Friends’)
Yeah, like there’s this other thing you could watch…
What’s it called it again?
I was recommended it the other day!
Oh yeah, literally anything else
ROSS* – (from ‘Friends’)
And more importantly, everyone else,
You know, straight, queer…
They all grew up watching the same crap
As you and guess what?
They're all fine!
RACHEL* – (from ‘Friends’)
Lots of them are even in relationships
ROSS* – (from ‘Friends’)
So maybe the problem isn't
That we fucked you up for life
ROSS & RACHEL* – (from ‘Friends’)
Maybe the problem… is you
NANCY:
It’s so fucking true
Of course the problem’s us
ROSS – (from ‘Friends’)
No shit
NANCY:
Fuck, It’s fucking true
OLIVER:
It’s not Rachel and… Ross
BOTH:
We’re so fucking fucked
The truth is clear and plain
It’s our fault no one’s saying
‘I got off the plane’
Review: Why Am I So Single? the Musical Lyrics
Why Am I So Single? the Musical Lyrics
SYNOPSIS
Why Am I So Single? (Demo)
8 Dates
I Got Off the Plane
C U Never (Demo)
Shhh!!!!
Just In Case
Interlude into B Minor
Clubs Glorious Clubs
No Question
Disco Ball
Better Off Love Story
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