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2023 West End
Operation Mincemeat the Musical - The Pitch Lyrics
The song is written by David Cumming, Felix Hagan, Natasha Hodgson, and Zoë Roberts.
MONTAGU & CHARLES:
So ladies and- Hello!
What? No!
So ladies and- Charmed!
Try again, here we go
Ladies and gentleman
We are gathered today
To present our plan
Ladies and gentlemen,
Oh I don't know where I am
It's a genius scheme (Yes)
A brand new team (Uh-huh)
We really are a well-oiled- exactly!
MONTAGU: (spoken)
Johnny, picture the scene
(sung)
What if a British pilot crashed his plane
Then washed ashorе
In the south of Spain
His body forgotten,
Rotting in the sun
So wе've lost our man,
Our hideous hero
The Spanish get a whiff of him
(Ay dios mio!)
MONTAGU, CHARLES:
And then huh oh
I'm sorry no
Now you go
MONTAGU: (spoken)
You can do this Charlie
CHARLES:
So they find our man
BEVAN:
Yes I get the gist
CHARLES:
And the briefcase we've fixed to his wrist
CHARLES & MONTAGU:
Jampacked with details of our next attack
MONTAGU: (spoken)
If you see what we're saying
BEVAN:
But how does this send
the Germans to Sardinia?
MONTAGU:
Oh Johnny,
I know that the suspense is killin' ya
Relax and we'll tell you all
That you need to know
CHARLES & MONTAGU:
So as you're aware
Spain is rife (it's rife)
With German spies
Who are bound to um
JEAN:
Materialise!
MONTAGU & CHARLES:
Right!
MONTAGU:
Once they know the Spaniards
Have our boy
CHARLES:
So our Allied Sardinian invasion plans
MONTAGU & CHARLES:
Will fly on the sly into enemy hands
Telling Adolf exactly where to go
JEAN: (spoken)
He'll go to Sardinia!
CHARLES: (spoken)
Was that clear?
BEVAN:
They'll do background checks
MONTAGU:
We'll get his papers set
JEAN:
We could fake his ID
MONTAGU:
You know I'm pleased we met
HESTER:
Jean, that's enough
JEAN:
You need me here to pick up the slack
BEVAN:
If we could maybe get back on track
CHARLES & MONTAGU:
We'll rewrite history, our cadaver will be
As traceable and real as you or me
BEVAN:
And I trust that a body can be found
That would look
To an expert freshly drowned?
MONTAGU: (spoken)
Now that is an interesting little-
That's one for you, Charles, I think
CHARLES:
Um, well-
BEVAN:
I see
MONTAGU: (spoken)
Wait, Johnny you wanted bold ideas.
This is your chance.
Mincemeat is the plan
You've been looking
For to get us into Sicily
(sung)
We need to trick the Hun,
Get them off our tails
Mincemeat is the plan
That could tip the scales
CHARLES:
A Trojan Horse
JEAN:
Or rather Trojan corpse
MONTAGU:
Right!
CHARLES & MONTAGU:
They key to taking Sicily back by force
HESTER & BEVAN:
To win the fight it must be watertight
BEVAN:
Find a body
MONTAGU:
Yes Johnny
CHARLES & MONTAGU:
Now give us the green light
We've told you all you need to know
So just say yes and then we'll go
BEVAN:
Fine, you have your orders
CHARLES & MONTAGU:
What?
BEVAN & HESTER:
You have your orders
CHARLES & MONTAGU:
Yes!
COMPANY:
We have our orders
BEVAN:
Now go
Review: Operation Mincemeat the Musical Lyrics
Operation Mincemeat the Musical Lyrics
SYNOPSIS
Born to Lead
God That's Brilliant
Dead in the Water
All the Ladies
The Pitch
Making a Man
Dear Bill
Sail on, Boys
Just for Tonight
Bevan's Update
The Ballad of Willie Watkins
Spilsbury Reprise
Useful
Finale
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