What's the Use? Lyrics

1956 Broadway
Candide the Musical - What's the Use? Lyrics

OLD LADY
I have always been wily and clever
At deceiving and swindling and such,
And I feel just as clever as ever,
But I seem to be losing my touch.
Yes, I'm clever, but where does it get me?
My employer gets all of my take;
All I get is my daily spaghetti,
While he gorges on truffles and cake.
What's the use? What's the use?
There's no profit in cheating,
It's all so defeating
And wrong, oh, so wrong,
That I just have to pass it along!

RAGOTSKI
That old hag is no use in this gyp joint,
Not a sou have I made on her yet,
And the one thing that pays in this clip joint
Is my fraudulent game of roulette.
But I have to pay so much protection
To the chief of police and his men,
That each day when he makes his collection
I'm a poor man all over again.

RAGOTSKI, OLD LADY
What's the use? What's the use
Of dishonest endeavor and being so clever?
It's wrong, oh, so wrong,
If you just have to pass it along!

MAXIMILIAN
It's a very fine thing to be prefect
Shaking down all the gamblers in town.
My position has only one defect:
That there's someone who's shaking me down.
For this fellow unhappily knows me;
And he's on to the game that I play,
And he threatens to shame and expose me
If I do not incessantly pay.

MAXIMILIAN, RAGOTSKI, OLD LADY
What's the use? What's the use
Of this sneaky conniving and slimy contriving?
It's wrong, oh, so wrong,
If you just have to pass it along!

CROOK
I could live very well by extortion,
But I simply can't keep what I earn,
For I haven't a sense of proportion,
And roulette is my only concern.
I've a system that's fiendishly clever,
Which I learned from a croupier friend,
And I should go on winning forever
But I do seem to lose in the end.

MAXIMILIAN, RAGOTSKI, CROOK
What's the use? What's the use?

OLD LADY
What's the use? What's the use
Of this cheating and plotting,
You end up with notting.

OLD LADY, MAXIMILIAN, RAGOTSKI, CROOK
It's wrong, oh, so wrong
If you just have to pass it along!

CHORUS
Pass it along, oh, pass it along.

ALL
Oh, what's the use? What's the use?
There's no use in cheating,
It's all so defeating
And wrong, oh, so wrong,
If you just have to pass it along!