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Broadway 2017
WAR PAINT the Musical - My Secret Weapon Lyrics
"My Secret Weapon" is a song from WAR PAINT the musical performed by Patti LuPone (Helena Rubinstein).
HELENA RUBENSTEIN: (spoken)
Then we make discovery. In my face crème,
We put the elixir of woman... the hormone that makes her different from the man!
HARRY FLEMING: (spoken)
Estrogen?
HELENA: (spoken)
Brilliant, no?
(sings)
It’s my secret weapon!
My secret weapon
To take america by storm!
Feminine quintessence
Cooked down to its essence
This can make the skin transform!
Whoosh!
Want to conquer fashion
And also cash in?
As the french would say
“cherchez la femme.”
Fight the march of time and look sublime
With new estrogenic hormone crème!
(spoken)
With this crème, you can postpone the menopause
HARRY: (spoken)
Defy age itself!
HELENA: (spoken)
Skin like the tuchas of a baby!
HARRY
I can work with that
It’s your secret weapon
HELENA
Our secret weapon
Your turn to step into the fray
HARRY
Start with Walter Winchell
Every column inch’ll
Show new york you’re here to stay!
We’ll seduce new clients
By selling science
HELENA
Women must embrace the modern age!
My job is to make la crème d’la crème
HARRY
Mine will be to make it all the rage
ELIZABETH ARDEN: (spoken)
But Tommy, look at the jar! Pink! Arden pink!
The color of every woman’s childhood, when youth still springs eternal
TOMMY LEWIS
It’s our secret weapon
ELIZABETH
Our “secret weapon."
TOMMY
Release this, urgent, to the trades:
“Evening, Day and Sport Pinks.”
ELIZABETH
“Boudoir and Resort Pinks.”
TOMMY
“Now Announcing Twelve New Shades!”
ELIZABETH
Pink for every month of the year!
ARDEN GIRL
“Champagne pink” is festive!
“Blush rose” suggestive
TOMMY
“Sky blue pink” stays fresh from nine to five
ARDEN GIRLS
Ah-ah-ah!
ELIZABETH
Free from harmful hormones
“others” use
Step into the pink and come alive!
(spoken, to Tommy)
We’re in the pink all right!
HELENA
So! How do we get these women to give up this pink? My crème, she is twice as good
HARRY
“Twice as good.” An interesting notion
(sung)
New “twin youth-ifiers”!
Double your buyers!
HELENA
How?
HARRY
Two variations on a theme!
HELENA
Go on...
HARRY
One jar is the day cream
One jar is the night cream
Different labels -- same cream!
HELENA: (spoken)
I like it!
(sings)
Product so essential
HARRY
So fundamental
HELENA/HARRY
You will need it twice for your toilette!
HELENA: (spoken)
Such a team we make, Harry!
HARRY
Charge ‘em twice the price at half your cost
That is what i call a matching set!
HELENA: (spoken)
Is genius!
HARRY: (spoken)
Why, thank you
HELENA: (spoken)
No, me, for hiring you!
TOMMY: (spoken)
She’s seen a thirty percent rise in sales. All because of that Madison Avenue Shakespeare
Give me the same title that he’s got
ELIZABETH: (spoken)
Tommy, don’t
TOMMY: (spoken)
Invisible? Is that what I’m supposed to be?
ELIZABETH: (spoken)
For now...
(sung)
You’re my secret weapon
Top secret weapon
You keep the business in the black
TOMMY: (spoken)
Where no one can see me
ELIZABETH
Making nice with buyers
Calming down suppliers
Filling in the skills i lack
TOMMY: (spoken)
My name on the masthead, maybe?
ELIZABETH
Future prospects sunny
We’re coining money
It’s a winning formula
TOMMY: (spoken)
I guess...
ELIZABETH
Everything you need you’ve got right here...
TOMMY
All except the title...
ELIZABETH
Patience, dear
That’s the secret weapon
To our success
[Thanks to Hunter Hawkins for lyrics]
Other Album Songs: War Paint the Musical Songs
My Secret Weapon lyrics from War Paint the Musical
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