Tootsie - What's Gonna Happen Lyrics |
2019 Broadway Tootsie the Musical - What's Gonna Happen Lyrics
"What's Gonna Happen" was written by David Yazbek, performed by Sarah Stiles (Sandy).
SANDY LESTER: I know what's gonna happen I'll try to go to bed With fear of failure flapping Like a fruit bat in my head
I'll sleep for half an hour The clock will ring at six I'll wake up in the shower with a stomach full of bricks So I won't have any breakfast Maybe just a little tea Like when you have to go And get a colonoscopy Which incidentally isn't half As disconcerting or upsetting As going for a part you know There is no way that you are getting
But anyway I'm heading Downtown for the audition Where everything I'm dreading Will be coming to fruition And here's what's gonna happen I'll walk in weak with hunger And there's a dozen girls Who look like me but ten years younger
I'll go into the bathroom And I'll try to vocalize And I'll be singing "minga-minga-minga-minga-ming" But I'll be hearing Sandy sucks She really sucks, she really, really, really blows And she's old, and she's lame And then someone calls my name
And here's what happens I'll walk into the room The gross fluorescent lighting is inviting as a tomb And everybody smiles They'll say its good to see ya But all I see is judges And they'll all look like Scalia
And then a little banter as they look me up and down And somewhere through the fog of insecurity and hate I'll try to convince them that I'm charming And I'm clever and I'm fun to have around But I'm starting to unravel In my head I hear the gavel
Guilty! They're gonna throw the book at me 'cuz I'm Guilty! Of coming in and wasting all their time Guilty! Of almost every other showbiz crime Not young enough! Not thin enough! Not pretty enough! Not good enough!
SANDY LESTER: (spoken) We hereby sentence you to a lifetime of waiting tables and debilitating self-loathing
MICHAEL DORSEY: (spoken) Sandy?
SANDY LESTER: But wait no someone's asking So can we hear your voice? I make a lame attempt at humor: Do I have a choice? I nod at the pianist He's always wearing black He's always in a turtleneck With dandruff on his back
No sooner do I get my note And open up my trap Then inevitably some mealy-mouthed assistant director's Thumbs are all over his iPhone And I know he's probably tweeting LOL, This girl is crap She's a fake She's a phony She could never win a Tony
I now live in a place I know quite well I've left the world, and I've entered hell I'm this far away from a fainting spell
But just before I die I finish a song Which I oversell Somebody says thanks And wishes me well The next thing I know I'm at Taco Bell Stuffing my face with meat
I'm trying to take it slowly I'm trying to be my best I'm trying to be more holy Less bitter and depressed I'm reading Eckhart Tolle He makes a lot of sense I bought a Buddhist bowl He says he it helps you be less tense
It doesn't do a thing for me I sit there on the floor I watch a vivid sequence Of humiliating instances from my past go by And think what kind of masochist Keeps coming back for more When she knows what's gonna happen 'Cuz it never doesn't happen 'Cuz it always, always
MICHAEL DORSEY: (spoken) Sandy? Sandy!
SANDY LESTER: (spoken) Michael?
SANDY LESTER: No! I know what's gonna happen Don't tell me that I don't And don't say that I'll rise to The occasion 'cuz I won't
And don't say I've got talent And don't say I've got heart And don't say that I'm clever 'Cuz I know I'm pretty smart I'm smart enough to know That I'm too stupid to admit You can't survive a diet That consists of eating shit The trick is knowing when it's time to pack your bags And say "that's it!"
You know what's gonna happen I know what's gonna happen Here's what's gonna happen I quit! I quit! I quit!
Other Songs: Tootsie the Musical Lyrics Sarah Stiles What's Gonna Happen lyrics from Tootsie the musical
Tootsie the Musical Lyrics
SYNOPSIS Opening Number Whaddya Do What's Gonna Happen Whaddya Do (Reprise) I Won't Let You Down I'm Alive There Was John I Like What She's Doing Who Are You? What's Gonna Happen (Reprise) Unstoppable Jeff Sums It Up Gone, Gone, Gone Who Are You? (Reprise) This Thing Whaddya Do (Reprise) The Most Important Night of My Life Talk to Me Dorothy Arrivederci! Thank You (Talk to Me Dorothy (Reprise) Michael's Reprise
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