Rent - La Vie Bohème A Lyrics

1996 Broadway
Rent the Musical - La Vie Bohème A Lyrics


WAITER
No, please no
Not tonight, please no
Mister, can't you go?
Not tonight, can't have a scene

ROGER
What?

WAITER
Go, please go
You -- Hello, sir! --
I said no
Important customer

MARK
What am I, just a blur?

WAITER
You sit all night, you never buy!

MARK
That's a lie, that's a lie!
I had a tea the other day

WAITER
You couldn't pay

MARK (spoken)
Oh yeah...

COLLINS
Benjamin Coffin III? Here?

WAITER
Oh no!

ALL
Wine and beer!

MAUREEN
The enemy of Avenue A
We'll stay

WAITER
Oy vey!

COLLINS
What brings the mogul in his own mind
To the Life Cafe?

BENNY
I would like to propose a toast
To Maureen's noble try
It went well

MAUREEN
Go to Hell

BENNY
Was the yuppie scum stomped?
Not counting the homeless
How many tickets weren't comped?

ROGER
Why did Muffy--

BENNY
Alison

ROGER
--miss the show?

BENNY
There was a death in the family
If you must know

ANGEL
Who died?

BENNY
Our Akita

BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS
Evita

BENNY
Mimi, I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
Who don't adhere to deals

They make fun, yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?

Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

MARK
Dearly beloved
We gather here to say our goodbyes

COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae, dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal veyitkadash

MARK
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass
You bet your ass, to
La vie Bohème

ALL
La vie Bohème
La vie Bohème
La vie Bohème
La vie Bohème

MARK
To days of inspiration
Playing hooky
Making something out of nothing
The need to express
To communicate
To going against the grain
Going insane
Going mad

To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension
To starving for attention
Hating convention
Hating pretension
Not to mention, of course
Hating dear old Mom and Dad

To riding your bike
Midday past the three-piece suits
To fruits
To no absolutes
To Absolut
To choice
To The Village Voice
To any passing fad

To being an us, for once
Instead of a them

ALL
La vie Bohème
La vie Bohème

MAUREEN
Is the equipment in a pyramid?

JOANNE
It is, Maureen

MAUREEN
The mixer doesn't have a case
Don't give me that face

MR. GREY
Ahem

MAUREEN
Hey, Mister
She's my sister

WAITER
So that's five miso soup
Four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner
Two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

A BOY
Ew

COLLINS
It tastes the same

MIMI
If you close your eyes

WAITER
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?

ALL
Wine and beer!

MIMI & ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation

MARK
Mucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion
When it's new

COLLINS
To Sontag

ANGEL
To Sondheim

FOUR PEOPLE
To anything taboo

COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham, and Cage

COLLINS
Lenny Bruce

ROGER
Langston Hughes

MAUREEN
To the stage

PERSON #1
To Uta

COLLINS
To Buddha

PERSON #4
Pablo Neruda, too

MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

ALL
La vie Bohème

MAUREEN
And wipe the speakers off before you pack

JOANNE
Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN
Well, hurry back

(they kiss)

MR. GREY
Sisters?

MAUREEN
We're close

(MAUREEN and JOANNE move to the side to reveal ANGEL and COLLINS kissing)

ANGEL, COLLINS, MARK, MR. GREY
Brothers!

MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men
Pee-wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana

ALL
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel, The Sex Pistols, 8BC
To no shame, never playing the Fame Game

COLLINS
To marijuana

ALL
To sodomy
It's between God and me
To S & M

MR. GREY
Waiter... Waiter... Waiter!

ALL
La vie Bohème

COLLINS (spoken)
In honor of the death of bohemia,
An impromtu salon will commence immediately following dinner. Mimi Marquez,
Clad only in bubble wrap will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance
To the sounds of iced tea being stirred

ROGER (spoken)
And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability
To hold an erection on high holy days

MARK (spoken)
Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot,
Will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder,
While accompanying herself on the electric cello, which she has never studied

BENNY
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us

MIMI
There's nothing to know

BENNY
Don't you think that we should discuss --

MIMI
It was three months ago

BENNY
He doesn't act like he's with you

MIMI
We're taking it slow

BENNY
Where is he now?

MIMI
He's right -- Hmm

BENNY
Uh huh...

MIMI
Where'd he go?

MARK (spoken)
And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song

(Roger picks up a guitar and plays)

That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"

COLLINS (spoken)
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub

ANGEL (spoken)
And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist,
Including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words:

ALL (spoken)
"Actual Reality - ACT UP - Fight AIDS!"

BENNY
Check!!

MIMI
Excuse me, did I do something wrong?
I get invited, then ignored all night long

ROGER
I've been trying, I'm not lying
No one's perfect, I've got baggage

MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

ROGER
I should tell you--

MIMI
I've got baggage too

ROGER
I should tell you--

BOTH
Baggage
Wine--

OTHERS
--And beer!

MIMI
AZT break

ROGER
You?

MIMI
Me. You?

ROGER
Mimi

Other Songs: Rent the Musical Songs Lyrics
La Vie Bohème A lyrics from Rent the Musical