Calvin Berger the Musical - Security Meltdown Lyrics

Lyrics and Music by Barry Wyner
CALVIN BERGER the Musical - Security Meltdown Lyrics


CALVIN:
"Less insecure,"
That's what they say.
But I'm in high school and let's face it:
Everyday is judgement day.
So what's my fate/
I'll have to wait.
And holy crap!
It's almost 7:58!

(spoken)
I can't be late on the first day of school!
You know, other kids are so lucky
they don't have to deal with things like this.

BRET:
I hate my ass.
It is my jinx.
It must be made of polyester,
'Cause it never ever shrinks.
The fattest ass in my whole class,
And all those diet milkshakes do is give me gas!
Look at Lady Gaga's butt.
Is that a perfect butt or what?
Soon it will be Christmas.
I've been good and kind.
Santa, might you grant a tight behind?
Security meltdown,

CALVIN:
Security Meltdown, oh, ah, ah...

BRET:
I'm having a break down.
I want boys to drool
As I leave the pool
In this security meltdown

CALVIN:
Security meltdown

CALVIN AND BRET:
Also known as school!

ROSANNA:
What will they say
In twenty years,
When they are flipping through the yearbook
And a shot of me appears?
What is my 'thing'?
My claim to fame?
Or am I destined to be nothing but a name?
Look how Calvin jokes around,
And Bret says things that sound profound.
Me, I'm just the 'it' girl.
Boys like what they see.
But could 'it' be all there is to me?
Security meltdown,
I'm having a breakdown.

CALVIN AND BRET:
Security meltdown. Oh, ah, ah...

ROSANNA:
Cool because you're hot
Is truly not so cool
In this security meltdown

CALVIN AND BRET:
Security meltdown

CALVIN, BRET AND ROSANNA:
Also known as school!

MATT:
I could make a friend today,
If I had something cool to say.
"Yo, they call me Matt."
What the heck was that?!
Being new would be just fine.
If I could find the perfect line.
This could turn out well...
Or it could be hell!

(overlapping)

BRET:
Look at Taylor Johnson's ass,
Rounded like an hourglass.
Look at Julie Binder's thighs.
No wonder she gets all the guys.

CALVIN:
Look at Alex Nelson's face,
Not one feature out of place.
Look at Joe Divino's arms,
Big as tree trunks.

ROSANNA:
Look how Lisa tells a joke.
If I tried that I'd probably choke.
I'm so boring.
They's be snoring.

MATT:
Look at all the kids pass by.
Why can't I just go say "Hi"?
What's the holdup?

(together)

ALL:
Call us superficial,
But here, these facts are real.

CALVIN AND BRET:
Hearts of gold just don't beat abs of steel!

ROSANNA AND MATT:
Security meltdown! Security meltdown! Security meltdown!

CALVIN AND BRET:
My eyes,
My thighs,
My butt,
My gut,
My hips,
My lips,
My chin,
My skin,
My nose,
My clothes,
My flab,
My scab

ALL:
Also known as school!

[Thanks to Brooke for lyrics]


Other Album Songs: Calvin Berger the Musical Lyrics
Security Meltdown lyrics from Calvin Berger the Musical


Calvin Berger the Musical Lyrics

SYNOPSIS
Opening Dream Lyrics
Security Meltdown Lyrics
I Can See Him Now Lyrics
Don'tcha Think? Lyrics
It Just Wasn't Meant to Happen Lyrics
We're The Man! Lyrics
Never Know Lyrics
Saturday Alone Lyrics
More Than Meets The Eye Lyrics
Mr. Potato Head Lyrics
Graduation Day Lyrics
The Fight Lyrics
How Can I Compete With That? Lyrics
Perfect For You Lyrics
Calm, Cool, and Collected Lyrics
Finale Lyrics